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January 2, 2010Posted by Mike Holmans on 01/02/2010 in Mike Holmans
How Broad bamboozled the South Africans
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It's only one game and South Africa can still win the series; when they start again at Newlands, the scoreboard will show 0 for 0 and anything can happen over the following five days; England should not start getting ahead of themselves and believing that it will be a cakewalk from here on in. All that is true, but there is no reason why any England fan out in the streets today shouldn't have at least a little dance about the result at Kingsmead. Only a few weeks ago, South Africa were the number-one-rated team while England bobble around in mid-table, and yet they were utterly crushed. Victories that comprehensive and impressive need to be celebrated.
But they also need to be explained, and explaining this one is a toughie. Of course South Africa can be beaten in a Test match, but they don't get beaten by an innings that easily. Australia did it during their period of dominance, now happily ended, and Sri Lanka did it a couple of times when Muttiah Muralitharan ran amok, but ordinary sides – and England are definitely an ordinary side – do not thrash South Africa like that.
South African batsmen, when in trouble, get their heads down and block for hour after tedious hour. It ain't pretty, but it's effective. They may still lose, but it's after at least a day's batting and they don't get rolled over for 133. No-one exemplifies this better than Jacques Kallis.
So, in company with Sherlock Holmes, we come to the curious incident of the shot which Kallis played at Stuart Broad. And when we point out that he played no shot at all, Holmes replies that that is the curious incident: why would a batsman of Kallis's calibre play no shot to a ball which was going to knock his stumps over? If we can work that one out, then it is probable that the same will apply to AB de Villiers and J-P Duminy, who also failed to offer shots to balls bowled by Broad and departed as a result.
Some will no doubt talk of the pressure caused by having to bat with no prospect of winning the game or of the superb length, direction and movement of Broad's bowling, but these are not factors which would normally cause Kallis' brain to freeze.
Now, if you watch the replay of the whole delivery, it is apparent that Kallis simply did not see the ball until it was too late: after hearing the death rattle he took a long, hard look at the spot where the ball had pitched, as though the ball had suddenly emerged from there without warning.
My theory is that Broad has somehow acquired the ability to make things temporarily invisible to specific people. Most of the time he has to use it on the umpire at his end to hide his ridiculously petulant antics and thereby avoid being reported to the match referee – a far more satisfying explanation for his lack of a ban so far than Sunil Gavaskar's conspiracy allegation – but occasionally he takes the risk of being seen by the umpire in order to bamboozle batsmen. After tea on day four Kallis, de Villiers and Duminy were successively blinded so that they played no shot, with the results we all saw.
The alternative explanation is that the South Africans were simply batting abysmally, and that is so unlikely as to be ruled out by anyone sensible.
Well, that's my theory and even if you think it's baloney, here's wishing you and yours as happy and prosperous a New Year as is possible in these troubled times.
Posted by: Siddharth at January 2, 2010 7:47 AM
It has happened because of the ostrich mentality.
The South African batsmen knew that they were playing for survival, they had to play out the overs. So they might as well leave as many deliveries as possible and hope that the English bowlers do not bowl at the stumps, (Ostrich mentality!!)
Of course, it did not happen and was not going to happen.
Posted by: waterbuffalo at January 2, 2010 8:28 AM
I disagree about what you said about Kallis' wicket. The ball nipped back a long way, if it held its line it would have missed off stump.
The ball was seaming and there was a lot of movement, in an out. Batsmen didn't know to play or leave, three of them left, and you know what? it happens on a fifth day pitch. South African batsmen don't forget how to bat after they've scored 10,000 runs, the english bowlers managed to bowl tight and with variation and to land the ball on the right length. And it was nipping back a mile, Mike.
Posted by: Joe at January 2, 2010 10:32 AM
Broad got an inordinate amount of late inswing. the ball which bowled Kallis came in a mile off the pitch as well. Similar ball to de Villiers. Duminy was rather unlucky. The ball came off the bat well away from and above the stumps.
Siddarth South Africa doesn't capitulate like India has in SA time and again. Besides India has a decent coach Gary Kirsten who has got them out of their chronically underachieving ways. South Africa's main problem since readmission has been politics of the kind which makes it difficult to drop players like Ntini when they clearly should be. The SA /England serires isn't over yet and perhaps we should judge the situation when it is.
Posted by: Sumit Hegde at January 2, 2010 10:48 AM
Amusing article! HNY to you as well.
Ever heard of the word humor, waterbuffalo? You do not seem to have a sense of it!
[Mike: Thank you, Sumit. I'm glad at least someone still has a little of the festive spirit.]
Posted by: ashtung at January 2, 2010 1:35 PM
Oh Mike, how right you are... This theory also explains that particular Aussie collapse in Ashes...
But perhaps the opposition captain could be given a UDRS for reporting his behavior, since the conditions are the same; use review for what the umpires failed to spot...
Having said that, I believe this trick of his comes with side-effects for the family which includes daddy dearest failing to spot a few Aussie antics and the difference in punishments...
Now if the batsman can't see the ball, and the camera sees it, UDRS can't be used I suppose... But may be a 3rd umpire can see and should be al
Posted by: Merv at January 2, 2010 10:29 PM
What nonsense - Broad as one of the few non-South Africans in the "English" team has the capacity once each series to bowl really well. Other times when not in a purple patch he is very average and no problem for good batsmen. England should have lost the first test as they should have lost the first test in that unusual venue Cardiff. How different things would have been if luck had not been on their side on each occasion. There is no reason to get carried away - just recruit more South Africans!
Posted by: bright spark at January 4, 2010 8:22 AM
Broad might be petulant but he does have the ability to put down a great ball from time to time and the one that got Kallis was just that-a great one.
Posted by: bolggs at February 1, 2010 2:45 PM
You notice Broad couldn't replicate this feat once the South Africans arranged a little media attention for him. What did he do in the 3rd & 4th Tests? Nothing. At least nothing good. If he was Pakistani he would have got a ban for his constant petulance, if not for sticking his studs into the ball. But as it is he sits in the shade of Dad's big umbrella, getting away with everything.
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Shanaka Amarasinghe Possessing the best disguised googly in Sri Lanka (because no one has ever really seen it), Shanaka is the finest legspinner to never have played top-level cricket. He is a popular cricket analyst and host of The Score, the No. 1-rated, if slightly infamous, sports show on radio in Sri Lanka. While in England playing rugby, he earned his LLM at King’s College and is a lawyer by training if not inclination. He is also an actor, a journalist, a writer, and thinks he is a comedian.
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Mike Holmans, a database consultant by profession, has spent thirty summers (and a few winters) going to the cricket. Brought up in one and working in the other, his dearest wish is for a season to end with Yorkshire winning the county championship by beating runners-up Middlesex by one wicket with five minutes to go. If it’s also a summer when England win the Ashes, so much the better.
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Michael Jeh Born in Colombo, educated at Oxford and now living in Brisbane, Michael Jeh (Fox) is a cricket lover with a global perspective on the game. An Oxford Blue who played first-class cricket, he is a Playing Member of the MCC and still plays grade cricket. Michael now works closely with elite athletes, and is passionate about youth intervention programmes. He still chases his boyhood dream of running a wildlife safari operation called Barefoot in Africa.
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Saad Shafqat takes special pride that his cricket-watching life began during the three-month interval between Javed Miandad's debut Test in Lahore and Imran Khan's 12-wicket haul at Sydney. Although a practicing neurologist based in Karachi, cricket has never been far from his activities. He has co-authored Javed Miandad’s autobiography Cutting Edge and has been a contributor to Cricinfo since 2005. His regular column Reverse Swing appears fortnightly in Dawn, Pakistan’s leading English daily.
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