Thank God then for Bob Willis. Called in to fill the gap between when Sky started to tell us about the 6 o'clock statement and when it actually arrived, old Bob grumbled, whinged and moaned delightfully for a few minutes, managing to explain that KP had been stupid and that the England players didn't like him. Then it was Gower's turn. "Is English cricket in a mess, asked the excitable studio presenter. Not really, I was thinking. "Yes it is," opined David and proceeded to lull us to sleep with a five minute exposition, the finer points of which I may only be able to recall under hypnosis.

Of course it's nothing of the sort. Socrates would have summed it up thus: "Wouldn't you say that yesterday we had a captain who wasn't quite up to the job?" "Yes I would." "And would you also say that we had a coach who wasn't that great?" "Well, yes, that's true." "And would you further say that the captain and the coach didn't work well together?" "I suppose that is true, yes." "And that the team was divided, not all of them supporting the captain?" "I would have to say yes." "And would say that these were bad or good things?" "Bad things, certainly." "And after today's mess, do these things still exist?" "Well, no." "So if it is a mess, isn't it a peculiarly good kind of mess, in which all the problems which existed yesterday have now been resolved?" "Why, yes it is." "So can it really be considered to be a mess?" "When you put it like that, no, I suppose it isn't." So there you have it.

Socrates would have made mincemeat of David Gower. But probably not Andrew Strauss. Which is reason number 94 in the long list of reasons why he should already be captain and we should not be having this conversation.