Enjoyed reading this article. However, I don't believe that an international cricketer should be allowed to get away at being this inept at batting. This is the one aspect of test cricket where you can make a positive contribution, no matter how small. This is unlike bowling where if you bowl average you can leak runs and release pressure. Or fielding where a mediocre effort can eliminate the chance of a run out. The ability for a tailender to stay at the crease and put on a partnership is invaluable. It may be difficult for Chris to learn strokeplay at this stage in his career but the least he can do is solidify his defense and learn how to move his feet. He has access to the same coach as the Kiwi batsmen do.

great blog. while martin is by far the leader of all bunnies...danish kaneria also falls quite comfortably in this category.

Watching Chris Martin batn is one of the best things about going to the cricket in NZ!

he hit a 4 off habajan, that has boosted his average for another 10 games or so. Legend

Very amusing article, and I agree that it's things like this that add to the wonderful variety of cricket.

I always love watching Chris bat, every ball is an adventure! And you are right, it is something unique to cricket where you get to see a professional athlete do something they suck at, which is kind of cool IMO.

Lets be fair to Chris Martin. His average would probably be doubled if it wasn't for all the singles turned down while he bats. He always ends up facing 5th and 6th ball of the over and if he hits a good shot they don't run. How do his balls per dismissal add up with other bunnie from the years? Probably just as bad if not worse but the guy doesn't get the chance to take singles lol. And only once has he tried to hit a 4 and that was when he smashed Singh down the ground haha legend!

Everyone in NZ loves Chris Martin for his batting! Everyone will always watch at the end of an innings because either Martin get out or is funny to watch or the guy at the other end unleashes and tries to smack every ball possible because he knows Martin will get out very soon.

Tom Cat is one of the hardest working bowlers i have ever seen. He has an issue with his eye sight, thats why his batting struggles. Give him a break.

love this article, very well researched. Coming from India, i would like to know who is the worst indian tailender. Chandra comes to mind, so also bishan singh bedi. In recent years in think v.prasad and munaf mussa patel have been the worst.

Quality piece of writing. Indeed Chris Martin is so bad that as you rightly point out he has become a cult hero. The cheer he recieved for reaching the glorious milestone of double figures vs Bangladesh was something to behold. I suspect several test century makers in history have received less applause for a more meritoriuos feat, well some sould say. That Martin has been described by Martin Crowe as 'the worst batsman in the world', and David Lloyd (and fellow English Sky TV pundits) has labelled him the 'walking wicket' adds spice to everytime he walks out to bat. Not only is he a master of the duck but also a master of the 0 not out. Batting lessons are not required for this lad, it would only take away from some of the excitement a day's test cricket offers when he comes out to bat. Good on ya Marto

Great article. A joy to read.

Tell you what,the only person whom i dont want to miss in action save for sehwag is martin..you have got to hear the adulation and cheers when he comes into the field..i dont think any other kiwi player recieves the cheers martin recieves..Really,i often console myself that i am not the worst batsman in the world afterall..frankly,martin is a good,strong hearted bowler and u cant doubt his integrity in the manner in which he runs hard every over..

An interesting blog, but you totally miss the point that a "good un will always beat a novice". The whole idea is to have specialists and 1 or 2 all-rounders. You mention Wright -Phillips in goal, but don't note that when penalties are taken it is the best who take the first 5. Likewise, people who can not bowl well do so only in the nets. I think you do Martin a great dis-service and would like to see you face swinging full pitched or bouncers bowled at directly at you at 90 mph+. In every walk of life/sport people have their strengths and weakenesses. If Martin was a wicketkeeper and could save your side say 100 runs an innings then being out first fall is a small price to pay. Courtney Walsh was made captain of the West Indies. Finally, one can only pick a team from those available and not everyone can be a Tendulka, an Ian Botham, an Imran Khan or a Donald Bradman.

Lovely blog sir, enjoyed it immensely.

I agree with amdtelrunya's above comments in that it gives the other remaining batsman a free licence to go for the boundaries instead of having to be defensive knowing that Chris Martin usually won't be around for that long.

You forgot to mention one thing about Martin that guarantees him legendary status in the rabbit hall of fame. His space age pads...

I've been suggesting for a while that when Chris Martin retires, he is going to reveal that he has eye problems, probably to do with his motion detection. His technique against fast bowlers suggests that he simply isn't picking up the ball, and I note that he can block a lot better against the spinners.

Oh I do disagree with you Miten Davda! Mr Coomaraswamy's point about the splendour of watching someone who isn't an expert trying to bat is well made. I think that watching cricket has become more boring as the personalities wither in the face of the ghastly 'athletic sportsman' mentality that predominates. Why do we watch cricket? I watch it to enjoy the variety of insights into life it has to offer - and the inept international batsman is one of them. Ever wondered what it would be like to face an international attack? Watch Martin or Kaneria (as Hafsa so rightly points out). A thing that I find interesting in this article is the point that the NZ team, with traditionally the best tail in cricket, has put up so many really bad no. 11s.

Thank you to the chap above me who again proves that Indian cricket fans have the sense of humor of a lump of granite in Scotland.

I think rabbit is an over-promotion for Chris Martin. Over here (Australia) we would call him a ferret. If you have to think about that - a ferret goes in after the rabbits!!

@Miten: the fact that he's a regular in the NZ 11 in spite of his batting speaks volumes about his other ability.

Nice blog. Rabbits are indeed a treat to watch. Would like to remind of the times when Walsh faced Mcgrath, bat between his legs.

Have to say as a Kiwi watching Chris Martin bat is pretty funny! Hes just so limited you have to laugh. His 4 against India was the highlight I think for most people on the Indian tour. Keep it up Martin the Kiwis love it!

I can't stop smiling Imran. Chris Martin walking in to bat is one of my treasured crickting moments and here's to you for your nice trubute to the rabbit of them all!

I protest at your calling Dizzy Gillespie's score ridiculous. If you check Micheal Clarke's record in that tour as a comparison, Dizzy's runs were well earned - he put his front foot forward, covered the spin and took the runs that were there to be made.

Oh yeah, and Shane Warne in the first innings at Fatullah. LOL.

PS Carna Tiges, England are up next. Do em.

Not to let Martin off the hook of his awfulness with the bat but what about Baghwat Chandreshakhar? He was so awful India often didn't give him a bat unless they were absolutely desperate.

I don't doubt that statistics wize Martin is the worst batsmen ever but I don't think anyone will ever look as bad as Phil Tufnell did. I watched Martin's 5 ball marathon when Ryder was on to get a century and thought his defence looked pretty solid. According to Tufnell's stats he once scored 67* in a First Class game. Whoever was bowling in that game ought to be ashamed of themselves.

I protest at your calling Dizzy Gillespie's score ridiculous. If you check Micheal Clarke's record in that tour as a comparison, Dizzy's runs were well earned - he put his front foot forward, covered the spin and took the runs that were there to be made.

Oh yeah, and Shane Warne in the first innings at Fatullah. LOL.

PS Carna Tiges, England are up next. Do em.

Great article, one of the best I have ever read on this site.

i agree i love a rabbit.should chris martin be a ferret[comes in after the rabbits].i nominate bruce reid and terry alderman as my worst sorry best.

I wonder what Steve Waugh would do if batting with Martin. Single of the first ball I guess....

It is unfair to compare Martin with Panesar. Martin is a good bowler and a decent fielder, whereas Panesar is good for nothing. Panesar is only good for making celebrations as if his tail were on fire.

First you write a whole article in a supposedly humourous way, showing scant respect for those you write about, and when I post a comment, "Panesar is good for nothing" you don't publish it. Doesn't that make you a hypocrite and stupid?

Incidentally, if you look at Test players who have batted in 20 or more innings, Chris Martin isn't in fact the worst. That dubious honour goes to Zimbabwean Mpumelelo Mbangwa, who had a batting average of exactly 2. Jack Saunders of Australia had a batting average of 2.29. An honourable mention must also go to Cuan McCarthy who, from 24 Test innings, had a top score of 5.
For the person who wondered who the worst Indian tailender was, I can tell you that (given the usual qualification of 20 innings) it's Maninder Singh (batting average 3.80) closely followed by Bhagwath Chandrasekhar (4.07).

I love to see the great man (personality wise) bat. He 's been credited with holding on for a few blokes to get landmarks over the years.

Imagine him and good old Courtney *another gentle giant) batting out the last ten overs of a Test match against McGrath on one side and Murali on the other. Absolute gold I'd wager

Martin has already revealed that he has terrible reactions and cant usually see the ball before it has flown past him. therefore his 12 should be seen as a century, if you manage to score that many with your eyes closed in effect, he should be seen as a real classy batsman!

I have never seen him drop his head in all the times he has bowled. He takes us back to when bowlers were bowlers, i recall some memorable partnerships with the oram and cairns and it would be interesting to see his average partnership average.

While Chris Martin probably deserves the accolade of worst batsman/best rabbit, surely the most inept single batting performance ever must be that of Bob Willis, who actually forgot to take his bat out with him?

Hilarious. Nothing beats this article. I didn't get to see much of Chris Martin. But being an Indian cricket fan, I remember those days when Venkatesh Prasad used to walk out to bat. We would know the end is near. And nothing beats the joy I felt when Prasad smashed, or confusingly mistimed, I should say, Ian Harvey over long off for a six of the last ball of the ICC Knock Out Trophy in Kenya. Very well pointed out, this species is becoming extinct and taking away along with it one of the most enjoyable moments of cricket.

Nice article. But come on now give the bloke a break. It is understandable that he is the greatest/worst tail-ender, but we cannot forget that he is probably one of the best test bowlers NZ has produced in the last decade, apart from Shane Bond n Dan Vettori. As long as he gets those wickets, he has done his job for the team.

Great article, well written. Lasting quote from Chris Martin on the fictitious ad for his learn to bat video, just before his castle is once again knocked over - "Get my learn to bat video. Like me, it's out now"