'All this is great, but wait till you see my personal photo gallery' © AFP

When it comes to public speaking, Indian cricketers take the blandness of their tribe to new levels – there isn’t even offbeat humour to compensate for the vanilla statements - so there’s some anticipation over the launch of “official” personal websites by four top players. MS Dhoni, Virender Sehwag, Harbhajan Singh and Ishant Sharma launched their websites in New Delhi on Monday and took a volley of questions. To one, on whether what was posted on his website could be taken as an official statement, Dhoni’s reply was succinct: what the need was for journalists to go to his website when he spoke at a press conference every second day?

It’s a captive market; unlike in the west, Twitter has not caught on with Indian players either, so these four sites could be the players’ mouthpiece to the fans. Nonetheless, there is always hope that some of their off-record earthy humour – or even a bit of the wit from their better TV commercials – finds its way to their websites, even if they lack the obvious colour of a Warne, Pietersen or Gayle (whose tweets during the West Indies players’ strike were always worth a read).

The four websites are currently live but require tweaking before fully completed; Harbhajan’s looks the most entertaining. The only player to post a gallery of images, some captured by team-mates, Harbhajan looks set to keep fans updated with his off-field leisurely activities. Sample his lying in the middle of a road in Wellington or posing by the dockyards in Auckland. Will the fans like it? The eyeballs will tell the tale.

If Hazel Smith had started her cricketing career in a different era, she may well have made a mark with her on-field exploits. She was all of 15 when took to cricket in the 1930s, however family commitments nipped her career in the bud and she quit playing five years later. "I was married when I was 20 and in those days you never kept going with your own things, you stopped," she reminisced on her decision.

Relinquishing the whites however did not deter Ms. Smith, who went on to earn her bread in a different field and script her own recipe for success. For 35 years, she has fed boys at the Cameron Cricket Club near Melbourne with home-baked scones and sandwiches. Though scorers have not kept track of her progress, she is believed to have made around 27,000 sandwiches and 20,000 scones over the years. Her efforts were recognized during the Boxing Day Test match in Melbourne where she was awarded with an International Cricket Council (ICC) Centenary Volunteer Medal, not in recognition of runs scored or wickets taken, but of scones and sandwiches baked.

Everything happens for a reason in MS Dhoni’s life, even a ban for two ODIs due to slow over-rates. In a cricket-packed calendar, India's wicketkeeper-captain has been on the road interminably, without getting a chance to rest. Where the selectors failed, the match referee Jeff Crowe did not, putting Dhoni out of the action for two matches. Timed perfectly to coincide with his completion of five years in international cricket, the ban gave Dhoni an opportunity to visit Devri temple, about 65 kms from his home-town Ranchi, as a gesture of gratitude to the divine for what has so far been a prosperous and, on most occasions, fortunate career. "He came here to pray for his good luck in international cricket and on the completion of his five years in international cricket," said Amit Panda, a priest. Surely, Dhoni would have also had a word of thanks for the ban – he got a breather while India went on to win both matches comfortably.

	The platform is well and truly deserved for Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly © AFP

Their ‘track’ records seem to keep getting better. Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly have been presented with lifetime golden family passes by India’s railway minister Mamata Banerjee for their achievements and contribution to Indian cricket.

Presenting the AC first-class passes at a function in Kolkata, where Tendulkar was honoured for completing 20 years in international cricket, Banerjee congratulated the duo for their achievements. She also hoped that Tendulkar would win many more laurels for the country.

"We are giving Sachin a lifetime achievement card from the Railways,” said Banerjee. “He and his family can now travel free all over India throughout their lives in AC first-class coaches.”

Describing Tendulkar as a "genius" and "champion of champions", she said: "Players may come, players may go, but Sachin will go on for ever. The country will forever remember what he has given the country all these 20 years.” The platform is well and truly reserved.

Funds shortages in Pakistan’s cricketing establishment have affected people in different ways, even during the final of the showpiece domestic tournament, the Quaid-e-Azam Trophy. The Times of India reports that mineral water is off the menu for the players during the five-day game in Karachi; they will instead have to make do with filtered water. That has apparently alarmed Younis Khan, the former Pakistan captain, who is recovering from a stomach bug – he brought along his own water. Similarly discomfited are the match scorers, the custodians of cricket’s most important facts and figures. They have reportedly been denied scoring books by the administrators and are expected to purchase their own stationery.

There are not many times Ricky Ponting has been left speechless over his long career. But when a reporter put it to him after the Perth Test that he had spent the previous evening in a hyperbaric chamber in an effort to boost his recovery from an elbow tendon injury, Ponting feigned surprise.

"Was I?" he replied. The cogs were turning and he was trying to work out how that little secret might have escaped the dressing-room. The journalist responded: "Apparently. Justin Langer said it on the radio this morning".

For a few seconds Ponting was genuinely lost for words. Eventually, he couldn't keep up the charade, and conceded with a smile: "Yeah, I was actually. Secret's safe with Lang, isn't it, by the sound of things."

Langer is the Australian Test team's batting coach but during his home Test at the WACA he was doubling as a special comments man on the ABC radio commentary. Ponting wasn't thrilled that his treatment was made public, but took it all in good humour. "I'll probably have a few more of those treatments over the next couple of days and if you want to know if I am, just ring Lang and he'll tell you."

Sreesanth has the uncanny knack of attracting attention even when he’s not actually trying. The modified itinerary of the Sri Lanka ODI series meant another stop at Nagpur, which hosted the first Twenty20 international.

But when the Indians returned to their team hotel in the city, they made an unusual request not to be booked on the fourth floor because that was where Sreesanth apparently picked up the swine flu virus which confined him to bed while his team-mates were getting hammered on featherbeds.

The Kolkata-based Telegraph has quoted a senior Indian player saying that the team insisted on being booked elsewhere. Apparently, the floor was later allotted to the Sri Lankans, who may have avoided swine flu, but seem to have attracted a plague of injuries instead.

Tributes continue to pour in for Makhaya Ntini during his 100th Test, but the one he received on the third morning at Centurion Park probably trumps them all, as Nelson Mandela, the former South Africa president, sent him a personal letter.

“Hearty congratulations as you play your one hundredth cricket Test,” the letter began. “What you have achieved goes beyond the number of matches you played; you have demonstrated, especially to the youth of our country, that everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do. We are proud of you!”

Ntini received the note shortly before he went out to begin play and said: “I don’t want to get too emotional as I go out to play.”

It certainly didn’t appear to affect him, as in his third over of the morning he extracted Andrew Strauss with a ball that scooted low and took out the off stump. The wicket meant everyone in the crowd was able to go and claim their free beer which was promised by a sponsor whenever Ntini opened his account.

Yesterday, Ntini led South Africa onto the field with his son and was watched on by his family. However, he then had Alastair Cook dropped in the first over when AB de Villiers spilled a catch at third slip, but it was only going to be a matter of time before he got himself in the wickets.

Once a male bastion, cricket today has made rapid strides in the women’s game, though one aspect of it still remains, perhaps not necessarily intended that way, an exclusive preserve of men – Umpiring. But that too is changing. On Thursday, Shah Praveen Kausar became the first woman from Pakistan to umpire in a competitive game in England. Kausar stood as a field umpire in the Saddleworth and District Cricket League game between Shaw and Friamere Second XI at Holebottom Clough.

Apart from the ease and authority she displayed in her role, her presence on the field also drew courtesy from the players, sparing her umpiring partner the verbal assault he was generally accustomed to hear. “The players were a bit surprised, but they were very courteous towards her and there was no bad language — not even directed at me which was unusual,” Peter Lilley, her co-umpire, told the Oldham Evening Chronicle.

“Shah did very well. She was very competent in everything she did and I think she enjoyed herself,” Lilley said. “She didn’t just stand at square leg, she did a full job.”

Kausar, 50, has umpired both men’s and women’s games in Pakistan. She is expected to umpire a full season in England next year.

With sixes flying around at an alarming rate in the India-Sri Lanka series, spectators and fielders alike already have their hands full in trying to stay clear of danger. Those attending the third ODI at the Barabati Stadium in Cuttack will be relieved to know they have one less peril to worry about during the game. The stadium has been cleared of bee hives by experts. It’s a chronic problem that first made its presence felt during a Ranji fixture in 2007, forcing the players to lie face down on the ground as the bees passed by, before interrupting the India-England ODI last year. The menace is now a thing of the past - the Orissa Cricket Association assures us that the sting has been removed from their attack.

What’s the best way to get back into your national side if the selectors overlook you? Become a coach. That seems to be the route former Pakistan captain Younis Khan has taken. Passed over for Pakistan’s upcoming tour of Australia, Younis, who is currently on a self-imposed break from cricket, made a surprise appearance at a coaching camp in Lahore on Tuesday. He refused to speak to the media after he completed his course but a “friend” quoted by AFP was more revealing. “Younis wants to get more educated in the game and this doesn't mean he will start coaching,” the friend said. “Younis will be back in international cricket after completing the well-deserved rest.”

But Younis’ commitment to returning to international cricket has been questioned after he failed to appear in domestic games. He was unreachable after the PCB appointed Mohammed Yousuf as his replacement on the Australian tour and had reportedly gone fishing according to the local media. Looks like the hunt for greener pastures is definitely on.

What would you ask if you had the chance to chat with David Beckham? For Makhaya Ntini it was the moment to ask him about his underwear.

The pair met during the football World Cup draw in Cape Town and Ntini took the chance to find out if it was true that Beckham only used his underwear once.

"I shared a room with David and even asked him about his underwear – if it's true that he uses it just once and throws it away,” Ntini said ahead of his 100th Test. "He said he had heard about these stories but they are all lies. I said, 'If I was your gardener, I would sleep next to the dustbin because the following morning something is going to be dumped there. And if it has only been used once, I can use it again!'"

They can bat, can bowl, but can they sing? Check out the West Indies’ Chris Gayle, Dwayne Bravo and Sulieman Benn singing at a function on WA News. And is that Doug Bollinger, Australia’s fast bowler, running out with $5?

"That is my second talent, I felt like showing it off last night," Gayle said of the impromptu performance. "It kind of makes you a bit more relaxed - that's how we are, we try and entertain whenever we can. The Australians came up last night and said 'You guys were brilliant'. It's good, I got $5 from Bolly for my performance, so I appreciate it."

The South African squad have arrived in Potchefstroom, but their kit hasn’t. The players flew into Johannesburg from all over the country on Friday, then made the hour-long road trip to the university town, yet their attire wasn’t quite so efficient.

The players had to scrabble around in their own luggage to find some suitable clothing to wear for training so there was a hotch-potch (no pun intended) of T-shirts and shorts on show as they jogged around the outfield. It was like the days before sponsored kit, when the players would turn up in what they owned themselves.

“The kit hasn’t arrived and that’s why we are all in makeshift stuff at the moment which isn’t ideal but there’s nothing we can do about,” coach Mickey Arthur said. “The guys are very mature, I like the way the guys have handled themselves and have just got on with it.”

He may not be part of the Boxing Day Test anymore, but Shane Warne’s “spinners” could just be the rage this Christmas. Following in the footsteps of Brett Lee, pop star Kylie Minogue and tennis legend Bjorn Borg, Warne has created a sports-inspired men’s underwear range aptly called “The Spinners”. Always a colourful character, Warne’s collection reflects his flamboyance. Gone are the traditional whites and in come bold colours and stripes in trendy fitted trunks and hipster briefs. “The Spinners” range which also includes socks has released just in time for the Christmas buying spree.

The Essex allrounder Graham Napier is off to his namesake city, Napier, a fortnight earlier than originally intended, as he hopes to revive his hopes of breaking back into the England Twenty20 squad with a spell with the New Zealand state team, Central Districts.

Napier, 29, was originally intending to fly out to Napier on Boxing Day. Now, however, he will depart on December 10, and is set to make his CD debut on December 17, in a 50-over contest against Wellington, the team he represented in the previous two seasons of New Zealand domestic cricket.

“I see the next four months as being hugely important as far as my chances of breaking back into the England Twenty20 squad go,” Napier told www.grahamnapier.com. “There is a World Twenty20 tournament in May [in the West Indies] and I want to be part of that. There are eight England players currently contracted to the IPL so I must be regarded highly out in India.

“Now I want to be recognised again by England and will put in as much work as I possibly can to achieve something I’ve striven for my entire career – to play for the full England team in a competitive international.”

	Andrew Flintoff's stocking fillers © Thisismission.com

Andrew Flintoff is finding myriad different ways to pass the time during his rehabilitation from knee surgery. This week, he has embarked on a new career as a clothing designer, after unveiling a new range of socks in time for the Christmas stocking market.

Flintoff has teamed up with the artist and illustrator, Duncan Cargill, to create what is described in a press release as a set of “unique and exclusive designs”, with “exciting illustrations and colour ways stylishly representing who they are and what they stand for”.

Flintoff’s offerings include a red sock with white trimmings, a navy blue sock with a red autographed “Freddie” monicker, and a garish green-and-yellowed striped variety, as modelled opposite. Quite what those say about his personality is anyone’s guess, but they are available for £9.99 a pop from MandMdirect.com, with all proceeds going to the Andrew Flintoff Foundation.

	Surf's down now © Getty Images

If you're a gung-ho beach cricketer in Chennai, stumps have been drawn on at your local sandy Lord's. The local authorities - incidentally, one of the many notable sites the Marina Beach sits adjacent to is the Inspector General of Police headquarters - have put a ban on friendly beach cricket games on the massive strip of sand.

That move has not gone down well at all, so much so that enraged citizens blocked traffic for a short while and staged a dharna, or nonviolent protest, outside the historic Vivekananda House. That resulted in the police having to draft in troops to quell the 2,000-strong crowd of primarily local residents.

According to lawmakers the decision has been taken as part of a move to make Chennai more attractive to tourists. Reactions have ranged from the disappointed - "No intelligent administration would have imposed a ban,” one local newspaper columnist said - to the nostalgic - "We have been playing here for so long and it is a part of our everyday life,” said 53-year-old DJ Ramani, a cricket enthusiast - to the frustrated - "Is it not a thousand times better than, say, eve-teasing or pick-pocketing?" a parent told a television station.

The beach on which the likes of former Indian captains Kris Srikanth and S Venkataraghavan once plied their trade in tennis-ball tournaments has for the moment been shut off as a playing arena. As anyone who has played beach cricket will attest to, the lines drawn in the sand are all too easily obliterated. This time, however, the authorities may just have had the final word.

The future of the Somerset Cricket Museum in Taunton has been secured on the eve of its 21st birthday, after it was bequeathed £250,000 in the will of a club supporter, Miss Patricia Watts, who died in August.

The museum, located in the Grade II listed Old Priory Barn at the County Ground, is run as an independent organisation and is a registered charity, and was opened in 1989 after a team of volunteers raised an initial sum of £100,000.

That figure has now been significantly boosted thanks to Miss Watts’ legacy. “We think that in 2004 Mr David Watts, an active club member, died and left his estate to his sister with the understanding that when she died the Cricket Museum would be one of her beneficiaries,” said the chairman, Charles Clive Ponsonby-Fane.

“Next year will be the museum’s 21st birthday. This generous gift will allow us all a wonderful opportunity to look back on all that has been achieved and explore our aspirations for the future. It is my hope that we can safeguard the wellbeing of the Somerset Cricket Museum for the generations to come.”

	A pile of bras gathers in the pavilion at New Road © WCCC

Worcestershire’s New Road withstood its first test of the winter last Tuesday, after the nearby River Severn burst its banks without penetrating the elevated entrance to the newly refurbished Graeme Hick pavilion. All of which was good news for the volunteers packed inside, who kept themselves busy on a damp evening ... by counting bras.

More than 2000 bras were donated and counted by volunteers from 2nd Skin Lingerie, who are raising money for the Worcestershire Breast Unit Campaign by attempting to create the world’s longest bra chain. The current record of 166,000 has been held by the town of Bundaberg in South-East Queensland since August 2009.

The garments are hooked together in sets of 20s to form a long chain, after which each bra is then tagged with a number and re-counted. Further counts and events are being planned for next year. After the final count all bras will be distributed to local women's refuges, homeless shelters and third world countries.

Karen Tomalin of 2nd Skin Lingerie said: "The evening was a great success with thousands of bras being donated but if we are going to break the world record and raise the much needed funds for the Worcestershire Breast Unit, we need even more. So, ladies, please keep those bras coming!"

Undaunted by his summer mishaps, in which he was forced to apologise after using fruity language, to respond to a follower who posted a doctored picture of him, Tim Bresnan has vowed to keep using Twitter.

The England paceman has devoted less time to the social networking site of late but, much to the relief of his near 9000 followers – which still leaves him trailing in the wake of prolific tweeters Graeme Swann and James Anderson - he has promised more updates soon.

"The thing that happened a couple of months ago, that was just me being myself," said Bresnan. "If someone has a cop at you, you stick 'em back. That's how I was brought up. Obviously it's not great in the public eye. If someone punches you, you whack 'em back.

“I am still on Twitter. I haven't 'Twittered' for quite a long time because I haven't found anything worthy of a tweet. If something interesting happens – maybe we see a great white [shark] off the beach today – that would be worth a tweet.

“I think if you're going to tweet it's got to be humorous; otherwise, there's no point."

Quite.