It’s not just the Indian cricket team who have been battered and bruised in their ongoing tour of England. Even the punters have been left reeling in the wake of one of India’s most disastrous tours in recent memory, where India have failed to win a game against England so far. The only ones rejoicing? According to a report in the Times of India, it’s the bookmakers, whose earnings have shot through the roof. And the No. 1 reason for their windfall? Sachin Tendulkar’s failure to reach his 100th hundred. Tendulkar made 34, 12, 16, 56, 1, 40, 23 and 91 in the four Tests, after which an injury ended his tour.

According to the report, bets were placed in three categories on Tendulkar's prospective 100th ton: If Tendulkar scored a century in any of the four Tests, punters would have gained Rs 1.40 for every rupee. Match-wise, the odds for that were Rs. 2.50 for every rupee. The stakes were the highest for specific innings-wise bets, which would have fetched punters Rs 4.50 for every rupee.

"This is the first time we enjoyed huge returns without losing a single rupee on Sachin,” a bookie told the newspaper. “This has been by far our biggest gain on the Little Master in the last two-three seasons.”

How long before Nasser has his own personally-branded ass, a la Damien Martyn in 2006? © AFP

Nasser Hussain has caused a media storm in India after comparing some of the country’s cricketers to “donkeys” after their poor performance in the field during the Twenty20 against England at Old Trafford.

Commentating on the match for Sky, Hussain watched India’s Parthiv Patel drop a catch off Kevin Pietersen at third man, and said: “I would say the difference between the two sides is the fielding. England are all-round a good fielding side. I do believe that India have few... three or four very good fielders and one or two donkeys in the field still.”

Although the word is commonly used in England to describe a lack of athleticism on the sports field, its use in this instance has attracted the ire of the BCCI, with the vice-president Rajiv Shukla telling reporters in Delhi that it was “totally uncalled for”.

“One should adopt restraint while making observations about players,” said Shukla. “Commentators should not make such comments. We will definitely look into it. Every player has to be respected irrespective of his performance. I don't think this comment was appropriate.”

Hussain's choice of word has also sparked off arguments on social networking site Twitter. Notably, Amitabh Bachchan, one of India's most-famous actors, tweeted his displeasure with Hussain's comment. Hussain found support in former team-mate Michael Vaughan, who tweeted: "Just seen that Nasser said the Indians have a couple of Donkeys in the field... How wrong can he be!!!! I have seen at least 4...."

The former England coach and Lancashire legend, David Lloyd, suffered the indignity of being evicted from the members’ bar at Old Trafford prior to the start of England’s Twenty20 against India on Wednesday, because he was mistakenly believed to be carrying the wrong accreditation.

Lloyd, who played for Lancashire for 19 seasons and is a life member of the club, had been browsing old team photos when he was reportedly manhandled by two stewards who told him he had “two minutes” to leave the room.

'I'm absolutely flipping livid,' Lloyd told The Daily Mail. 'I'm a life member and ex-captain of the club. I pointed out I was just looking at a few photos, and mentioned that I was in most of them. They asked me whether I was refusing to leave, and when I said I was going nowhere, two of them grabbed me by the arms. I said, "We're in a stalemate here, because I'm not moving".”

Lancashire's venue events manager Richard Mulcaster said: “We unreservedly apologise. The stewards involved were not following the correct procedure and have been informed as much.”

The incident follows a similar case of poor identification at The Oval during the fourth Test against India, when Surrey’s former captain Alec Stewart, who even has a gate named after him at the venue, was refused access to a hospitality box.

Sachin Tendulkar: immortalised in fabric © Grayling

Sachin Tendulkar may have missed out on his 100th international century at The Oval this week, but it’ll doubtless cheer him up to to learn that he has been immortalised in fabric in a shopping centre in Leicester.

A giant mosaic of Tendulkar, measuring 9m x 6m in size, was laid out on the floor at Highcross Leicester shopping centre by the reowned local artist Laura Hadland, who last year made a portrait of her mother that was made entirely of ... toast.

Gurvinder Rupra, marketing manager at Highcross, said: “Immortalising Sachin Tendulkar out of fabrics seemed the perfect way to capture the spirit of Leicester as it gears up to welcome him and his teammates to the city.”

The artwork - which was created on the lower mall outside Debenhams - used more than 100 yards of fabric and saris, and took 9.5 hours to create. It will be in place to welcome the arrival of the Indian cricket team for their warm-up Twenty20 match at Grace Road on August 29.

Click here for a stop-motion video of the mosaic being made.

The specially made envelope and stamp feature cricket paintings © Getty Images

Cricket fans in England obviously give people the impression they would be the kind of people interested in stamps. After the Ashes, the Philatelic Society created a special stamp to commemorate the win in Australia, and now the Bletchley Park post office has designed a stamp and envelope combination to celebrate England’s ascent to the No. 1 ranking in Tests. The envelope and stamp both feature a cricket painting of the England team celebrating the wicket of an India batsman. The commemoration proclaims England as the new No. 1 and also makes note of the fact that they won the 2000th Test. The package is available on the post office’s website bletchleycovers.com for £8.50 plus £1.50 for packaging and posting, but only 500 will be distributed; so you have to hurry if you’re an England fan who wants to get under an Indian mate’s skin with a snarky letter.

Most bowlers say bowling to Sachin Tendulkar teaches them many things. But is it permissible at a practice session ahead of a much-anticipated match, and you technically happen to be from the opponent's camp? Andy Flower, the England coach and team director, thinks not. Flower was not pleased to hear of left-arm spinner Monty Panesar’s nets sessions with Tendulkar ahead of the Lord’s Test, calling his actions ‘naïve’.

“He did bowl to him in the nets before Lord's and I think that it is quite a naïve thing to do," Flower told PTI after the Lord’s Test. Panesar has not played a Test since July 2009, and is unlikely to break into the side in the immediate future, but Flower said it was still not right for him to offer net sessions to a player as dangerous as Tendulkar. "I haven't spoken to him yet, but one would hope he understands that it won't happen again."

That firmly puts an end to Panesar's attempt to better himself against “a wonderful batsman and person” in his spare time.